The Eval; Part One

I made the call.

Surprisingly, we were able to get in really quickly. Other places I'd called over the last few years had waiting lists over a year long...which I personally think is shameful. These kids and families shouldn't have to wait that long.

As the big day drew closer, I wasn't worried. I didn't feel any anxiety. I actually felt...dare I say...excited? I was so eager to know what a professional thought about the situation. I've spent so many years diagnosing my son by myself and with Dr. Google, that I was very very ready for a professional opinion. For someone to tell me that either I'm just making a mountain out of a mole hill...or that there really may be something going on with my boy.

When we arrived at the office I knew we had chosen the right place. I spent some time checking out different websites...looking for the one I felt would give us the "best" eval. And by "best" I mean thorough. I didn't want to march in to a local shrink and walk out with a rubber stamped autism diagnosis. I wanted someone to take their time getting to know my son, really analyzing him and his quirks, and making a sound decision about any potential diagnosis. I wanted someone who had worked with autistic and special needs kids for awhile...someone who knew what these "disorders" look like in real life (not just what the DSM says). I wanted a cross-disciplinary team to back up any evaluations, just to cover all bases.

And I found all that in the office we chose. Granted, it's over an hour away. And out of network for our insurance. But that's the way it always goes, isn't it?

As we sat in the waiting room I noticed a handful of families come and go for various types of therapy appointments. I saw speech therapists signing to their clients. I saw a family present their OT with a Frappucino as they arrived. I saw professionals who seemed to have genuine relationships with their clients, and families who seemed to be fully comfortable with the staff. Bingo. I was on the right track.

Our Psychologist was just as friendly and interacted fabulously with the kids. My son, who doesn't always take well to new people, was soon playing right next to her and talking to her, which was a very good sign. We spent a few hours answering a ton of questions about Aiden. Questions about my pregnancy, questions about his birth, questions about his toddler years and diet and potty training and play habits. A million questions, that when looked at as a whole made me realize there really is a lot going on with this little man. I knew we had a lot going on.....but when I spent two hours discussing every single thing in minute detail...well....it was quite a picture.

Thankfully, Aiden demonstrated some of his troubling behaviors in front of the Psychologist. I swear, that was the first time I was happy to see him get all spun up or be oblivious to his sister's emotions. But I wanted to be sure she saw the things I was talking about...because some of this stuff can be difficult to describe in words.

At the end of our visit, the Psychologist said she did see several red flags for the Autism Spectrum.

This is when I think I was supposed to feel horrible. Hopeless. Devastated.

But instead I felt validated. I felt like finally, someone said, "I see it too."

From here we move on to testing.

And then at the end of all that we'll have an answer.

And regardless of what that answer is, I'll be relieved. I can stop worrying about the what ifs and start focusing on the what IS.