Happiness; Fleeting Versus Fulfilling

Throughout the years happiness has looked very different at different stages of my life. Like most young girls I had my share of shallow, materialistic happiness. Ooh! Pretty shoes and Ooh! Glittery MAC eyeliner! A designer purse could make me grin from ear to ear. Don't get me wrong, those material things certainly can bring happiness, fleeting though it may be. But fleeting happiness is soon gone, and doesn't leave you fulfilled. It doesn't translate into happiness for the greater good; happiness for mankind.

I've always been a very sensitive soul. As a child I longed to help the homeless, even when I didn't understand the societal issues surrounding it. I didn't understand addiction or poverty. I only knew people were outside, cold or hot and hungry. I didn't think that was right, and I desperately wanted to help.

As a college Senior I had a soul shaking experience inside North Carolina's Death Row. While my fellow students laughed and cracked jokes, I stood shaking and silently weeping. My visceral reaction had nothing to do with any of the multitude of talking points on the issue; I simply hit emotional overload standing in the death chamber. It was more than my sensitive soul could bear.

Over the years my sensitivity to the plight of others led me to work with domestic violence victims, families shattered by child abuse, and all manner of victims of sexual crimes. On the surface I hated these jobs. I cried most Sunday evenings at the mere thought of returning to work on Monday, of the horrifying things I would bear witness to the following week.

In the moment I was not happy. In the moment I could not move beyond my own sensitivity  to realize that I was working to achieve happiness on a greater scale. I was working to achieve happiness for others, to free them from the binds of abuse, to offer them a chance at achieving their own happiness. I know this now, but then I couldn't get past myself.

I've mentioned before how I have an innate need to help. A fire burning inside me to fight for social justice that smolders below the surface, my life as a stay-at-home-mom not providing enough fuel for sufficient ignition of the flames. But when I'm able to find a way, no  matter how seemingly small and insignificant, to promote a cause near and dear to me, that brings me happiness. When I can retweet a link to an article about the need for reform in our Nation's prison system, that makes me happy. When I can sign my name to a petition asking government officials to test evidentiary DNA samples before potentially executing an innocent human, that makes me happy.

A good hair day still makes me happy. A really good latte still makes me very happy. But the kind of happiness that I feel to my bones? The kind of happiness that radiates within and makes me feel like I'm fulfilling my purpose? That comes when I can serve as an agent for social justice. When I can be a rallying cry for those who have lost their voices. When I can shine a spotlight on the hidden injustices in this world, and work towards much needed change. Then I'm truly happy.

Keeping it real: This post is part of the DivaCup Happiness Blog Project. Part of bringing happiness to your life is simplifying things so you can enjoy it to the fullest. What makes you happy? How has your view of happiness evolved over time? The DivaCup offers a simple, worry free, eco-solution to women worldwide every month. Not a tampon, not a pad, finally a better way! www.divacup.com.
In exchange for my involvement with the Happiness Blog Project the DivaCup is donating $100 to The Innocence Project in my honor. I have received no compensation for this post.