Dipping My Toe Back in the Blogosphere

I've been blogging a long time. Four years this December.

This blog and I have been through a lot. Many things happen in four years, especially when you're birthin' and rasin' kids.

Over the years this blog has held numerous places on my list of priorities. It's been way at the top, occupying a lot of my time and energy and focus....and it's been at the bottom, neglected and ignored. A few times I've even contemplated walking away for good.

But something always stops me. Something always brings me back to this little white box where I allow the thoughts that swirl in my mind to pour out through my fingers, providing a little release to the pressure of daily life.

And it is a release. Many times hitting that "publish" button is the equivalent of taking a deep breath. It's cathartic and cleansing, depending on what I'm writing about. Those posts are not merely written; they are born. They begin as a nagging thought that won't go away. The thought becomes bigger and grows, multiplying into strings of words and concepts swarming around my brain. At some point the pressure becomes too much and I have to get them out! Out, out, damn words! Out!

Insert dreamy flashback music to accompany awkward transition in focus.

I've spent the last year struggling with where I belong in the Blogosphere, if I even belong at all. I felt so empowered after Type-A Mom last Fall, but I lost that feeling this year. Time after time I witnessed the ugly side of blogging; the competition, cattiness, cliques. 

So I pulled away.

I spent the last eight months trying to decide what exactly I wanted out of this blog and the Blogosphere in general.

I'm still not one hundred percent certain.

But I know I still have those jumbled words and thoughts that need to get out. I know I still feel that release when I hit "publish" and birth a post into the tangled web of the net.

I know I need to write.