One of the most difficult things about being a stay-at-home-mom is not having a daily source of intellectual stimulation.
No, Sesame Street doesn't quite cut it.
I spent many years in College and Graduate School, surrounded by the pursuit of intellectual greatness. That sounds so smart ass, I know, but that's exactly what was going on. We were traversing intellectual frontiers, forging pathways in our chosen field and dreaming up groundbreaking research that would make a name for ourselves. Beautiful afternoons were spent huddled in dark research libraries, noses stuck in academic journals, pockets full of change for the copy machines. Even a social get together at a local pool hall resulted in intellectual discourse about competing theories in our field.
It was intense.
And I loved it.
The professional world wasn't quite as intellectually stimulating, but it still kept me on my toes. Whether I had some large scale analysis to conduct or a college course to prepare a syllabus for, I still used my intellect and felt...smart.
I try to stay connected.
I keep up with various professional organizations in my field, and try to stay up on timely matters and controversies. But all too often I end up closing a tabbed article because I've had it open in my browser for a week and haven't had time to read the first paragraph.
I fear my brain is going to atrophy.
Use it or lose it.
I know as the kids get older I'll have more time for intellectual pursuits. Logically, I know this. I just fear I'll forget how to learn by then. I fear I'll forget all my big words.
And I really like big words.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Using My Big Words
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4 espresso shots:
Don't worry....you'll use your big words again. They might not be the same ones as you used 10 years ago, but you'll use other big words.
You can choose which one of us is the control and experiment, but I assure you....In my world we dont use big words, most of the day is not spent debating about big theories, etc (Ok, sometimes we do.....and we talk about the cool stuff that is happening in cool places - think my research). When I think about preparing my syllabi, I get tired. Yesterday, I was asked to write an entry on my area of expertise...in a 1000 words - preferably small ones.
And what did my day consist of .... dealing with the realization that I will have to spend a few years in an environment that does not value research or me and learning how to do it, writing letters, trying to concentrate on a dissertation for which I'm an external reader (I gave up and watched a movie), and trying to not laugh at the admin assistant who is refusing to talk to me because I finally said something about her unhealthy behaviors, intrusion into my personal life, and my concerns for how she interacts with our student employees...and no she's not 25...
As for the pile of articles I would like to read...well, maybe that will happen. I did talk to my friend who has a baby today. She's working on her PhD....she totally has mommy brain. And, I have Fibro brain.
But, those pool halls were fun....we do wine bars here....but I miss those times back in the day.
If you really want big words, I can send you my dissertation. But I'm not sure how many big words you will find in there :) I did use some econ, so maybe. Ironically, we spend years trying to use all of our big words and when it's time to write dissertations, reports, and the like...well, small and simple is better. .... Basically, I think our grasses are just as green :)
I know how you feel - sort of. I didn't go to grad school but I did spend a lot of my time pre-kids expanding my intellectual horizon and being at home feels a little like having your brain turn to mush. It's partly boredom that makes being at home hard and partly screaming kids. :)
Don't worry. If you have a good brain, it's still there. Once those little ones are older, and you have more time, I'm sure it'll all come back to you. You say "Use it, or lose it". I say "It's just like riding a bike."
I like big words too!
Cute blog! Visiting from www.imalazymom.com
Oh I feel you. On the cusp of having a third one I am really feeling the fear. It's rough and I sometimes wonder if I'm relevant anymore.
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