Mama Has a Potty Mouth

I had a real potty mouth when my husband and I first met. It might even have been worse than his. But sometime after our son was born that changed. When our son was a few months old it started feeling weird to cuss in front of him. It didn't feel right to sing along to my Eminem CDs anymore or to watch Rescue Me while he sat in his infant swing. Maybe I was afraid this would happen:
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Beyond the potty mouth concerns, I found myself using other words less frequently. Words like stupid or idiot. Thank you so much Charlie Brown for your incessant use of those words, by the way. I still catch myself because calling something stupid just flows off my tongue so easily. But I cringe when I hear my son say it, and it's not really a word I want him to get in the habit of using.

Lest you think I've fully cleansed my potty mouth, let me assure you I am far from a saint. I've slipped up a time or ten and my son has repeated whatever scandalous word he's heard. I just ignore it. No, really. I don't even acknowledge what he's said, and it works! He doesn't get a rise out of me, so it's not any fun, and he stops saying whatever it is. Dealing with him repeating my slip ups is the easy part. The hard part is coming up with creative substitutes for some of my favorite words.

Do you know how difficult it is to have a fulfilling argument with your spouse while refraining from saying something as benign as damn? Telling my husband he made me mad just doesn't get the point across as well as telling him he really pissed me off. And what about driving? When someone does something really really ridiculous on the highway, it's just not very satisfying to call them a silly giraffe. So my solution is to do a  lot of cussing in my head. Seriously. I can scream WTF all day long in my head, or call someone an asshole while plastering a smile on my face. Unless my son develops some intense telepathy I think my plan should get me by.

But I still can't play my damn Eminem CDs.

Keeping it real: Evenflo has just released the Momentum 65 DLX Convertible Car Seat, with features that help make safety, installation and use as easy as possible for parents. Evenflo and JuiceBoxJungle sponsored me to write this post.