Motherhood Versus the Woman Within

I just finished watching the movie Motherhood.

Yes, I'm a little late.

I adored it. Truly and utterly adored it. I completely related to the harried, frazzled, shell of her former self mom. I saw bits and pieces of my own life played out on the screen...at least until the end. The end? Was so completely Hollywood and fantasyland that it left me feeling defeated and hopeless. What was intended to be a happy ending was so far from reality for me, that I was left anything but happy.

If you haven't seen the movie, it's basically about this mom who used to be a fabulous writer, edgy cool chick, yada yada yada. She has a few kids, becomes a stay at home mom, loses all her fabulousness as she melts into the monotony of motherhood. Oh, and she's a blogger. Cue the emotional breakdown, the plea for some alone time to formulate original ideas and pursue long forgotten passions. **SPOILER ALERT** In the end the husband sells a rare book for a huge chunk of cash and tells her to put the youngest kid in day care for a few years so she can write.

Mmmkay. You lost me there. I was feeling the emotional breakdown. I too yearn for the days when I used to have coherent thoughts on things that mattered. But we don't have a rare book sitting around. Believe me, if we came upon $24 thousand dollars we'd be buying a second damn car, never mind preschool for a few years. Oh, and we choose to homeschool, so there goes that preschool idea anyway.

So. Big Hollywood Producers? I'd like a rewrite.

I watched Motherhood with tears in my eyes, feeling so understood and acknowledged. I wanted to raise a sippy cup in solidarity with all mothers struggling to retain a shred of their former identity. But then I'm pretty much told that the only way to truly reclaim my passions, the only way to be really happy and sane and not be screeching at everyone is to not be home with my kids. There's even a few lines thrown in the dialogue about how working makes mommies happy....mommies who work are nicer and don't yell and blah blah blah. Yea. I hate working. Bite me.

I'd like to see a movie showing a mom reclaiming her passion while staying home with her children. I'd like to see a mom nurturing herself and her identity while she also nurtures her family. Don't insinuate that the only way to find this blissful Nirvana is in the working world, because I'll call that bluff.

Staying home is hard.

Going to work is hard.

Being a mom is hard.

Remembering that I'm a woman; a fun, feisty, intelligent, sarcastic, witty woman who just happens to be a mom? That's the hardest of them all.