I went to the dentist today.
Breaking news, I know.
I've been getting dental work my entire life. I had root canals and caps on baby teeth, so I'm no stranger to the dental office. Thankfully I'm not afraid of the dentist. Only the eye doctor. But I digress.
I've always received complements on my teeth. "You have such nice teeth!", people say. "You must have had braces" they remark (and no, I never did). "Such a nice smile" I always hear.
But they don't know what's going on on the inside. They don't know that many of those pretty teeth are actually crowns. And fillings. They don't know that lurking under these ill-fitted, old crowns is more decay. They don't know that my teeth are actually suffering from demineralization.
I may have a pretty smile on the surface, but my teeth aren't so pretty and strong on the inside.
Sort of like me.
All my adult life I've had people tell me, "You're so strong...". "I wish I could be as brave as you".
They don't realize I'm actually one of the weakest people I know. I'm a wimp. Brave? Me? Not in the slightest. Risky, maybe. Foolhardy, certainly. I've taken gigantic leaps of...faith? Stupidity? Hard to say. But brave? I don't think so.
Just because I've lived through some insane times doesn't make me strong. Yes, I survived. Barely. Surviving doesn't always equal strength. Sometimes what doesn't kill you can actually make you weaker. I just don't choose to show that to the world.
So I'll let everyone tell me how strong I am. Just like I thank them for the "nice teeth" comments. Sometimes the facade is better than the reality.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Strong On The Outside; Fragile On The Inside
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7 espresso shots:
You are strong!
I was not blessed with good teeth at all. For one my teeth don't align and yes I wore braces for 6 years in prep for major surgery. My jaw for some reason continued growing on one side so one side is longer than the other which in turn causes TMJ. I could never get insurance to approve surgery since they kept saying it was cosmetic HMMPF... so I am here today. I hate my teeth :(.
BTW... you do have pretty teeth :)
Yes, those things that don't kill us CAN make us weaker. I feel the same exact way.
But as long as your knees quake in private, I think you really are strong...maybe stronger because you go despite your fear?
I think on the inside, we are all fragile and weak. So we have to remember that when dealing with other people. I would make the world a better place for sure.
You are strong and brave enough to write this and admit your weaknesses and failures. That's something.
(Great analogy, btw.)
You have a beautiful smile, and i think that surviving - or just getting by - can sometimes be the ultimate test of strength!
I think surviving bad things and coming out the other side makes you both stronger and weaker. For me I feel like I have a stronger shell with one very tender, very weak spot. For the most part all the new bad stuff hits the shell and bounces off but sometimes something hits that very sensitive spot and it hurts more deeply than it did before.
You are stronger than me-- I hate going to the dentist! It gives me anxiety! And to recognize one's weakness can actually be a strength, or something zen like that. =)
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