As Huey Lewis once said, I need a new drug.
Life with a toddler and an infant is INSANE, ya'll! Chaos consumes every waking moment of every single day! I knew it'd be tough but good grief....this is pure insanity. What do the Duggars know that I don't?
My drug of choice recently has been ice cream. And cookies. And snack cakes. This can't continue. I reached my self-imposed postpartum binging cut-off date a week ago, yet the tasty treat consumption continues.
So I took up swearing. We don't generally swear in this family. Honest! We're weird like that, I guess...but I started up again. And it's pissing my husband off really aggravating my husband. Plus, it's just a matter of time before my toddler starts copying me, and I'd never hear the end of that.
I wish smoking didn't..you know...cause death. It's such a relaxing habit. I kind of miss my smoke breaks, but it has been nice to not smell like a day-old ashtray for the last handful of years.
Alcohol is out of the question too. As are any illicit drugs. I can barely keep up with these kids stone cold sober. Inebriation is likely to cause the swinging pendulum of control to sway much too much in their favor.
I need a new drug. One that won't piss off aggravate my husband, won't make me smell, won't make me fat, and won't make CPS take my kids away. Any suggestions?
Friday, July 17, 2009
I Need A New Drug
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13 espresso shots:
oof, when you find one, let me know.
I'm a fan of naps, internet time with the kid(s) watching a quick video, outings more for me than the kids (i.e. drive through chick fil a) and not feeling guilty when I veg out with the food network occassionally if the kids are awake. (my oldest now uses phrases such as "tablescape" "brown bits" and "bobby is your favoritest cooker EVER!). sounds like a lot but having one or two moments with these through the day make me a far more attentive parent for the rest of the day.
(oh, and since being pregnant, I've been known to occassionally put on Sesame Street and doze on the couch while the kids run amok and scramble all over me. amazing that I can nap through that but it works!)
and that my dear is why I smoke! Yeah it's HORRIBLE for you, and yes it makes you smell like an ashtray..but I'm not ready to quit..I've done the whole toddler/infant thing, and to be honest with you, it's not easy when they're 4 and 2 either! good luck!
Popsicles? I've also imposed my own postpartum binge cut-off...never mind that I gave birth a year ago. Since I'm an ice cream addict, I've been *trying* to swap out the good stuff for the frozen stick variety. So far, so good. You can't really kick back with a bowl of popsicles, but it at least makes me feel like I'm having a treat! (and I hear you on the swearing front...I'm trying very very hard to cut certain words out of my vocabulary for fear that my son will suddenly blurt out something mortifying!).
Chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. That's my drug of choice right now.
And now I have that song in my head. Thanks a lot. LOL
Oh... man... when you find this 'drug' of choice, can you please share it with me? I'm dying to find a new one, too! Life with an almost 4 year old boy and almost 18 months old boy is NOT easy. Fun, but wow... they are go go gog go go gogogo all day long!
You are probably going to want to punch me in the face for this, but seriously. Jogging. Once I got into jogging I was hooked. It is an adreneline rush and it really whipped my butt back into shape. Plus it let me get out of the house and away from the kids for a little while. AWESOME.
Jogging? Jogging?!!! I was thinking a little pot.
I wish I had a suggestion, but alas you've already ruled out my "drug" of choice: a cool dry glass of white wine.
And I totally feel you on the smoking thing. It's been years but sometimes it takes so much self-control to not wrestle the cigarette out a hipster's smooth young hands when i walk through their cloud of sweet, sweet smoke.
Mmmm.... Smells like freedom.
Hang in there! The switch from one to two is the hardest. I know you have an older child, but that's a little different. I guess it's the switch from one small child to two small children. I thought I would go nuts. Believe it or not, the switch from two to three was a breeze in comparison. If that's any consolation. I think the 1 to 2 crunch is what makes people stop at 2 kids. They think three must be worse. But, it really isn't.
That said, vanilla coke over crushed ice with a straw helps. ;)
Hmmmmm.....I feel for you. Sometimes I'd give anything for a Prozac.
just stumbled on your blog. Love your writing style.
I have 3 kiddos - teenager (wants to make me pull my hair out), 4 year old and almost 2 year old. It is crazy chaos here from sun up til they drop into bed at night!
Getting out of the house and going shopping always works for me. I have a 6 yo, 2 yo and 8 month old. I bribe my sister to take them for at least an hour.
I agree go for jogging. It is the best stress reliever. And the side effects are toned glutes and rock hard abs :)
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