C-Sections Suck

Wayne is supposed to go back to work tomorrow. He still has to help me change my underwear each day. I'm sleeping on the couch because I can't get in and out of our bed yet. And I'm moving at a snail's pace.

He headed off to shave and shower for work tomorrow, and I broke down. How in the world can I manage without him? I can barely take care of myself, nevermind two kids. I can hardly get up off the couch, and it's only been in the last 24 hours that I don't wince in pain when lowering myself to the toilet seat. If it was only one child, I could do it. Aiden is old enough to wait on my slow hobbling self. And Savannah is pretty easy to care for on her own. But both of them? And myself? Just too much.

Wayne saw my tears; saw how little control I had over Aiden; saw my woefully inadequate response time; and decided to take another week off work.

You do remember his company is in the middle of layoffs right? He wasn't supposed to take any time off. But at the last minute my mom couldn't stay with me, so he had to fill in. And now he's taking another week. I know legally they can't reprimand him for this.....but they're laying off anyway. So one reason is as good as another.

Needless to say, I sobbed. I feel so guilty about it....but at the same time, I need him here. Damn c-sections suck, my friends. They are not fun to recover from at all.

It doesn't help that Savannah doesn't like me. I know, I know..yes she does...blah blah blah. But she doesn't. Every single time I feed her, she chokes. She hasn't choked when Wayne has fed her. Not once. Only me. She won't burp for me. Only Wayne. I'm terrified to feed her now, because she keeps choking! I'm scared to death she's going to freaking die on me or something. It's awful.

So maybe it's a good thing Wayne is staying home longer. Because this babymoon isn't going quite how I'd like it to just yet.