What is a Proverbs 31 Woman?

I've written on here many times about being a "Proverbs 31 woman". It's something I really try to aspire to, but sadly I feel it's a dying desire in many Christian women today. Since so many people don't understand what it means to be a Proverbs 31 woman, I thought I'd spend some time focusing on the passage and discussing it. I'll be quoting the NIV version of the Bible, but I always like to reference The Message as well...it has simpler text and was easiest for me to "get" when I was a baby Christian.

I'll be discussing Proverbs 31:10-30

10 [a] A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Unfortunately, it is true....a good woman is hard to find. A good BIBLICAL woman, that is. A woman who wants to serve her husband and children with a loving servant's heart...and not wear the pants in the family. I know this is hard....I was raised by a single mother..a very take-charge woman, my mother was....and still is to a degree. So naturally I behaved the same way. I still fight these urges to take over when my husband is doing something...even if I have no idea what he's doing, I feel like running the show. But the Bible is very clear on this....the husband is the head of the home. (obviously when patterns of abuse are evident, this must be addressed. I'm not even going to attempt to go there today...I'm just speaking very generally here).

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
The Message says "Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.". It's so important that our husband has full trust and confidence in us. It goes both ways, but we can only control what WE do, not him! So many marriages are undermined by jealousy, or sneaky behavior. I tell my daughter....if you're doing something and you wouldn't want me to see you do it, then reconsider what you're doing". The same applies in a marriage I believe. We have to be transparent with our spouses. We have to avoid situations which the Devil could use for his own purposes. One of the biggest situations I feel the Devil uses to undermine marriages is the "he's (or she's) just a friend, my spouse needs to get over it" thinking. My opinion....and I'm just a lone woman, no minister or theologian....I feel a married woman has no business having "guy friends". If the guy is part of another couple, and both couples are friends....that's different. But having a "guy friend" is like inviting the Devil to toy with your mate's mind and interfere in your marriage. My husband's trust in me is far more important than any friendship I could ever have with another man.

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
I think this means, basically, a Proverbs 31 woman will treat her husband good, at all times. She will watch her tongue, and not lash out in anger. (I know, this is oh so hard too.....I find I have to physically remove myself from the room sometimes, in order to keep my mouth shut. I then return when I've calmed down). I think this verse also instructs us to talk well of our husbands around others. Not to gossip and complain about our husbands when in a group of women. (I know, this is hard too...especially when the other women get started. I get that knee-jerk instinct to say "Oh, my husband too!". This is why I've really had to pay attention to the women I spend time with. Believe me, not every woman puts her husband down! Search out women who speak positively and lovingly of their mate. Once I began spending more time around women like this, my own attitude about my husband changed....The people you're around have a TREMENDOUS influence on your thoughts; more than most realize.)

13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
The Message says "She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing." Can you be a Proverbs 31 woman if you aren't crafty? Well, I don't know! Like I said earlier, I'm no minister or theologian. I don't have a hotline to God for Bible Interpretation (although wouldn't that be FANTASTIC?!). But, since this is in the Bible....in a section describing the "ideal" woman...I think it must be important. Could it be implying that we keep ourselves busy? Or is it more important that we be making something? I don't know.

14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
This one confuses me; I'm not entirely sure what it's implying. But, seeing as I'm a foodie...I think it means to be experimental in my kitchen and use exotic ingredients. Sounds good, right? The Message says "She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises." So hmm....maybe it's telling us we need to avoid getting into ruts...to always bring surprises into our marriage?

15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
Okay, at this one I fail. I don't do mornings. I hate mornings..always have. Ideally I'd love to get up with my husband, prepare him breakfast, and spend time with him before he heads on to work for the day. But my husband wakes at 3:30 in the morning. Ouch. I think if the Lord really wanted me to get up with my husband, He would have given him a later job. KIDDING! I know I should do this...and I really think if I was getting a full night's sleep every night, I probably would. But since Aiden still keeps me up most nights I'm just too tired at 3:30. Excuses, I know. I really need to work on this one. I'm not much good at starting my days off right.

That's enough for today! Do you feel you've accomplished any of these? Are you struggling with any of them, like I am? Let's spend this week really working on these few items before we delve further into the passage.